Well, it’s the 2 year anniversary today of the death of my ex from drug and alcohol abuse. I have sort of relived it in a way this last month.
I keep thinking about it and getting angry at my ex best friend who also struggled/struggles (don’t see her any more) with addictions, and played a part in A’s downfall. I don’t know how to let it go!!!
She lied to me and manipulated me so much, I know I won’t ever forgive (which I also hear is very bad for the soul!) But she was supposed to be my friend! Argh! I wish I could forget all these terrible memories. I wish I could just remember the good times – sometimes I can, but i’ve always got this horrible anger at her.
IDK. If she even said sorry I don’t think it would make a difference. Maybe I just divert all my grief into anger at her. I don’t know!
Damn! I am stuck in this life without A and I miss him so much. I wonder how long I’ll live and if every day of the rest of my life will be as lonely as the last two years )-: