2 years sober from alcohol and I finally decided now would be a good time to quit smoking cigarettes. Now.. I just really need to vent.
Today was day 3 cigarette free and I ended up having one and now I’m kinda kicking myself in the arse for it. But I defintiely don’t feel tooooo bad for it because I don’t have really anything to lose as I would have if I were to have relapsed with booze.
My boyfriend is a pretty big smoker… 1-2 packs a day probably. And he smokes inside his house. Yesterday and today he has not been of any help to me or being supportive of my quitting smoking. I don’t think he’s doing it to be mean… More or less joking around. Even though, to me, it has not been funny at all. For a while now he kept bringing up that I should quit smoking and blah blah blah so I finally did… But now that I’m trying to he’s not being of ANY help. He’s making it so hard for me.
Blowing smoke in my face, constantly talking about how nice it is to smoke a cig, etc. Things like that. I tried talking to him about it last night that he’s not helping me one bit and that he’s the one who wanted me to quit in the first place.
I said “I hope that one day when you try to quit that somebody does this exact same thing to you so you know how I feel right now…” (then I paused) Me again- “Actually… No, I take that back. I wouldn’t want you to go through what I am right now…”
Then I went to bed.
But today… ugh… He just wouldn’t knock it off. So I took one of his cigarettes and sucked it down. I don’t even LIKE smoking. I hate everything about it. Taste, smell, all of it. It’s gross. But I’m addicted and I’ll admit it no problem.