i just came back from my first ever meeting.
perhaps i am jumping to conclusion too fast, but the whole thing just didn’t feel right for me. i couldn’t identify with the speaker and even some nice people whom i’ve met afterwards.
overall, i had a feeling that it simply wasn’t for me. everyone told me to keep coming back, to give it more time (and that makes perfect sense)… i just don’t know if this is something that i can be comfortable with. the whole atmosphere felt a little depressing and was more of a reminder to drink than not to.
how many people were able to quit without attending meetings?
i feel like going to the gym (where there’s obviously no alcohol) or simply for a run does a lot more for me than any number of meetings ever would.
however, at the same time, it makes me question why i have relapsed so many times in the past? is it because i didn’t have the right support? or i simply didn’t “wake up” to realize that i do have an unmanageable problem, and moderation is not an option for me.
in some way i feel that posting here gives me more of a relief and support, than any meeting would…