I realized today…or at least something has happened today to make me realize. I will for now, and always…be one of them. I am a them person. While I knew this logically, I am now in shock because it feels like someone is distancing themselves, while still offering support. Because I am a them.

I am stung and hurt, but now I wonder if this will happen often. Will I always be a them. I will never not be an alcoholic…

I believe this is only temporary, I hope. She needs time away to think and consider. Since I have become sober, we have become closer friends…but now…

Anyways I don’t know what I am asking, or even who I am asking. I am trying to figure out if I have lost this person…arg…so much running through my head

I wanted to drink, holy crap this town is evil. I am walking past a local bar in Whistler and all my friends come running out. I can’t even go by to go to the grocery store. I wanted that beer…it would feel better, for a split second. But I know the consequences…

anyways, didn’t know where to put this…I needed to vent. Does it ever get to a point where people just see you as a normal person again.

I can’t wait until AA tomorrow.