I just came back from my second meeting with a new psychologist. My previous one had to cut back her work hours do to a family crisis. But that is not really my frustration.
I am frustrated with the fact that I am nearly 7 years sober and now I am having to deal with PTSD related to the past 40 some years of my life. It seemed like I was fine when I drank. Faced challenges head on, even enjoyed them. But in sobriety I have had increasing anxiety around every day life. Yes, I have worked and do work the program of AA. And it does and has helped keep me sober but it is not a program to solve problems such as PTSD. I have gotten to the point that I can not even get out of the house to go to job interviews. Picking up the phone to respond to a want ad is extremely difficult. Going to school has not been any easier. I missed quite a few classes last term because I couldn’t get out the front door.
I am frustrated that after all these years I am having to deal with things from my childhood. I should be well past all that. A part of me knows that if I were drinking this would not be a problem. But then everything else would so that is not an option.
I just needed to vent a little. I know this will get better but it is quite frustrating to walk through.