I have too. My AH and I reconciled after being separated for a few years (if interested see my introduction post). He works his program and I work mine. For us the “key” has been just that – working our programs.
I’m at a time now in my life that I can honestly say that I am happy that I went thru all of this – otherwise I wouldn’t be the person that I am now and I certainly wouldn’t be as emotionally healthy as I am now.
Was it easy? Hell now – it was downright painful and it is a constant battle (but it does get a bit easier) to keep my co-dependent traits back in the bottle (no pun intended) where they belong.