This is my first post – I couldn’t see posting in any other place but here.
I’m not the addict but I’m the codependent for sure. My daughter – 20 years old- is in a recovery program as of 12/22/10.
She is a chronic pain patient for 6 years and still counting. She has been misdiagnoised and is currently undiagnoised. We have been told TMD/TMJ, trigeminal neuralgia, occiptal neuralgia, puesdo tumor…. it’s been a crazy ride.
I can’t even get past step one. Sad but true- I know step one is true but letting it be what it is – it’s hard. I guess in my mind and my heart I beleive it but my mind is telling me to “do something about it”. The control….like I’m God or something…I DON’T HAVE CONTROL OVER THE PAIN THAT SHE HAS…I keep telling myself that over and over and over again.
I’m scared that when she comes home that the addict will be in recovery but the pain won’t. We don’t have a cure, we don’t know what it is and the pain was the start of this horrible cycle that we live- I think??. I’m scared. Not just for myself but for her too….I don’t know where the line is between me and her. I can’t place it and keep it there. She is my daughter and I love her and I want her to have a normal life.
I have at least 60% of all the characteristics of a codependent. I’m trying so hard.