Wow – some great songs/great idea, now I have something to keep me busy for awhile – I got a new iPod for Christmas.

One song that just hits home, see verse 2. The lead singer wrote it about his battle with mental illness and alcohol.

Blue October – “Hate Me”

Mother: Hi Justin! This is your mother it is 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You sounded really uptight last night, it made me a little nervous, and a little, well it made me nervous, but it sounded like you were nervous too. I just want to make sure you are really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication too. You know I love ya. Take care honey, I know you’re under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye Bye!

(Verse 1)
I have to block out thoughts of you, so i don’t loose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted this

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me and wait, yeah wait for it to swollow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

(Verse 2)
I’m sober now for 3 whole months, it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing that I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinoins on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so f

---

far away that I’ll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me and wait, yeah wait for it to swollow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

(Verse 3)
And when the sad hard eyes say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I found out I can’t make it go away, just make it stop
Come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How could you did this to me?”

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me and wait, yeah wait for it to swollow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you, for you, for you, for you…

@YankInHolland 668259 wrote:

I’ve recently discovered the band Dream Theater. The drummer and primary lyricist, Mike Portnoy, is putting his current 12-step recovery onto “vinyl” (yes that phrase effectively dates me) over the course of several albums.

Peace!

I was hoping I’d find a reference to DT here!! I’m soo happy.

DT has been like the soundtrack to my life. Their music was a huge part of me getting off the meth 12 years ago, and the AA suite Mike is working on is simply moving. I remeber back about 5 years ago when I started to realize I was also an alcoholic, and though I had heard the song “The Glass Prison” hundereds of times, I distincly remember it moving me to tears one day. I think that’s the day I knew. Why it took this long to finally get with the program is a mystery, but I will always have Mike Portnoy to thank for opening my eyes. Here are the lyrics to “The Glass Prison” If you can, you should listen to the song, it’s a brilliant piece of music.

I. REFLECTION

Cunning, Baffling, Powerful
Been beaten to a pulp
Vigorous, Irresistable
Sick and tired and laid low
Dominating, Invincible
Black-out, loss of control
Overwhelming, Unquenchable
I’m powerless, have to let go

I can’t escape it
It leaves me frail and worn
Can no longer take it
Senses tattered and torn

Hopeless surrender
Obsession’s got me beat
Losing the will to live
Admitting complete defeat

Fatal Descent
Spinning around
I’ve gone too far
To turn back round

Desperate attempt
Stop the progression
At any length
Lift this obsession

Crawling to my glass prison
A place where no one knows
My secret lonely world begins

So much safer here
A place where I can go
To forget about my daily sins

Life here in my glass prison
A place I once called home
Fall in nocturnal bliss again

Chasing a long lost friend
I no longer can control
Just waiting for this hopelessness to end

II. RESTORATION

Run – fast from the wreckage of the past
A shattered glass prison wall behind me
Fight – past walking through the ashes
A distant oasis before me

Cry – desperate crawling on my knees
Begging God to please stop the insanity
Help me – I’m trying to believe
Stop wallowing in my self pity

“We’ve been waiting for you my friend
The writing’s been on the wall
All it takes is a little faith
You know you’re the same as us all”

Help me – I can’t break out this prison all alone
Save me – I’m drowning and I’m hopeless on my own
Heal me – I can’t restore my sanity alone

Enter the door
Desperate
Fighting no more
Help me restore
To my sanity
At this temple of hope

I need to learn
Teach me how
Sorrow to burn
Help me return
To humanity
I’ll be fearless and thorough
To enter this temple of hope

Believe
Transcend the pain
Living the life
Humility
Opened my eyes
This new odyssey
Of rigorous honesty

Serenity
That I never knew
Soundness of mind
Helped me to find
Courage to change
All the things that I can

“We’ll help you perform this miracle
But you must set your past free
You dug the hole, but you can’t bury your soul
Open your mind and you’ll see”

Help me – I can’t break out this prison all alone
Save me – I’m drowning and I’m hopeless on my own
Heal me – I can’t restore my sanity alone

III. REVELATION

Way off in the distance I saw a door
I tried to open
I tried forcing with all of my will but still
The door wouldn’t open

Unable to trust in my faith
I turned and walked away
I looked around, felt a chill in the air
Took my will and turned it over

The glass prison which once held me is gone
A long lost fortress
Armed only with liberty
And the key of my willingness

Fell down on my knees and prayed
“Thy will be done”
I turned around, saw a light shining through
The door was wide open

:c029:

“Tightrope”-Stevie Ray Vaughan
“Ball and Chain”-Social Distortion
“Bad Luck”-Social Distortion
“Story of My Life”-Social Distortion
“Joey”-Concrete Blonde
“I Feel All Right”-Steve Earle
“South Nashville Blues”-Steve Earle

Many more, but these are what come to mind right now.

Heres the video to the above song.

Scars video by Papa Roach

the beast in me-johnny cash

I can’t pick this song apart to explain WHY it means so much to me about my drinking, it just does. When I hear this song and sing it, I am singing it To myself and my drinking.

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didnt you?
Peopled call, say, beware doll, youre bound to fall
You thought they were all kiddin you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin out
Now you dont talk so loud
Now you dont seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Youve gone to the finest school all right, miss lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out youre gonna have to get used to it
You said youd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
Hes not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it aint no good
You shouldnt let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a siamese cat
Aint it hard when you discover that
He really wasnt where its at
After he took from you everything he could steal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
Theyre drinkin, thinkin that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things
But youd better lift your diamond ring, youd better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you cant refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
Youre invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

@losttofreedom 496067 wrote:

Staind- “It’s Been Awhile”

It’s been awhile
since I could say I wasn’t addicted
since I could say I love myself as well
since I’ve gone and ****** things up
just like I always do…

Everclear- “Heroin Girl”
“Summerland”
“Strawberry”
“The Twistinside”
“Her Brand New Skin”
“Chemical Smile”

Yeah, reading through this post…the Staind song ALWAYS reminds me of my AS, brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it…

“It’s been awhile, since I could…hold my head up high…”

this song is about the death of johnny ramone but I reminds me of my life and how I;m never going back again.

Alife wasted
Pearl Jam

“You’re always saying that there’s something wrong
I’m starting to believe it’s your plan all along
Death came around, forced to hear its song
And know tomorrow can’t be depended on

Seen the home inside your head
All locked doors and unmade beds

Open sores unattended
Let me say just once that

I have faced it, a life wasted
I’m never going back again
I escaped it, a life wasted
I’m never going back again
having tasted, a life wasted
I’m never going back again

The world awaits just up the stairs
Leave the pain for someone else
Nothing back there for you to find
Or was it you you left behind?

You’re always saying you’re too weak to be strong
You’re harder on yourself than just about anyone

Why swim the channel just to get this far?
Halfway there, why would you turn around?

Darkness comes in waves…tell me,
Why invite it to stay?

You’re one with negativity
Yes, comfort is an energy
But why let the sad song play?
heheheh…

I have faced it, a life wasted
I’m never going back again

Oh I escaped it, a life wasted
I’m never going back again

having tasted, a life wasted
I’m never going back again

oh i erased it, a life wasted
I’m never going back again” – pearl jam