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the pain of sobriety – or sobriety sucks2004-06-19T19:18:20-08:00

Self Help Recovery from Addictions Forums General Discussions on Addiction and Recovery the pain of sobriety – or sobriety sucks

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  • Anonymous
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    Does anybody know if the craving for alcohol gets better after time? My councellor (20years sober) once said that he would not wish the first year of sobriety on his worst enemy – does this mean it gets better after a year?

    I have just done 3 ½ months and the going is getting tough now.


    Post count: 2789

    Hi Felicia,
    I’m told that the first year of sobriety can sometimes be the hardest. I’m just over three months now, and all in all, I find it becoming easier to deal with cravings. My program of recovery suggests that I have a plan in place for the really hard times.
    In my case, that usually means making a phone call to another alcoholic or going to a meeting. Other times, it’s just a matter of thinking through the act of drinking. Looking beyond the initial pleasant feelings brought about by the first few drinks. When I do that, and look at the consequences, and also not fool myself that I could stop after only a few, the cravings generally go away. I’ve experienced alcohol withdrawal one too many times. Don’t want to go there again.
    So a plan of action, of any kind, seems appropriate.
    Congratulations on your sober time.

    Post count: 965

    Hi Felicia
    Welcome and congrats on getting sober.
    Naltrexone is good for the cravings and is used more and more to help alcoholics. I used it while in treatment for 28 days and then again just recently when I got sober again…
    Dan has great suggestions as well.
    Coming here to Addiction to Rehabilitation has been my biggest tool in staying sober.
    Post count: 1


    It gets a ton easier if you stick it through the tough times.

    The more time that you have the more you have to loose if you go out. That means you have to go back to the beginning all over again and start at day one if you go out and if you make it back!

    Just focus on not drinking today. Do the things that help such as . . .

    1. Go to a meeting.
    2. Chat on Line with other AA and NA
    3. Call your sponsor
    4. If you still have a graving, go to another meeting and talk about what your true feelings are. (just like you have here)
    5. Don’t hang out with anyone who is drinking
    6. Don’t go to bars.
    7. Don’t call old relationships (big one)

    That’s a lot, but you only have to follow these suggestions for today! That’s it.

    Tomorrow, ask me again.

    Last one. Do not drink, no matter what. Even if your butt is falling off and the end of the world is coming (its not) do not drink!

    You have the power in the here and now. But you have no power IN tomorrow or yesterday.

    I think you are on the right track. Sobriety can suck sometimes. Working through that gives you more strenght for the next time!

    However, this last Monday my Son “Donnie” was Born to a woman I love and loves me.

    We had a ton of people (family and friends) in the waiting room just to give their support and love

    I have a 12 year old daughter that has never seen me drunk or stoned.

    I am very happy in my life, but I had to pay the price you are paying now to get there.

    I would not have this “here and now� if I had given in.

    Don’t give up.

    It gets a lot better!!


    Post count: 2

    Hi Felicia,
    For me the first six months were the worst. Dan has a very good suggestion. Have a plan in place, before the craving comes. Kepp the mind and body active so they are too busy to notice. Have a phone numbers available for when you need to talk to someone.Exercise is good to keep you occupied as well. It could be as simple as taking a walk.
    Take it a day attime or break it down as simply as a minute at atime. Remember you only have to go through it once. You could ask your doctor for meds if theyt are just so bad you can’t get through it.
    I’ve been sober two years now and it does get easier as you find your way of coping with the desires. Know that you aren’t alone in the fight, we are all pulling for you. Realize what may trigger them and avoiud the situation as best as you can.
    Good luck and be strong. Aladinsane

    Post count: 373

    Hi Felicia, I can only say I support all that everyone has said here. Good advice. I still get cravings. I know that is the insanity of alcohol. It ruins our lives, but we keep wanting more beatings. I personally try to get to a meeting if I crave. Or at least I pick up and read some AA literature. But calling your sponsor or others in the program is also very good to do.

    Post count: 3

    Well, what can I say, thanks for all your support. I say one thing: ‘I am glad I am sitting here this morning, not having had a drink the night before! So at least it IS possible – these cravings usually hit at the middle of the day, but as soon as it’s evening it goes away. I have been drinking heavily for many years and have (surprise, surprise,) damaged my liver – I couldn’t believe it when the doc told me! I guess it’s time to live in the today, otherwise I woudn’t make it.

    Thanks a lot friends.


    Post count: 373

    Thats it Felicia we must concentrate on what we have control over. We have to work on this one day on a time. Glad you made the decision not to drink yesterday. Hope that you also had the same sucess today!

    Post count: 7

    “Without growth there would be no growing pains…” my 1st and 2nd sponsors told me. When times feel hard, or to much to bare I have come to understand (in my own experience) #1) My Higher Power is sending me a message, #2) There is some change going on and I may not even be aware of it–and my Higher Power is making me aware of that which I am not.
    My first year of soberiety was made of more changes than I knew what or how to deal with–it was in that first year that I came to rely on my Higher Power and be aware of the messages, growth and looking closer at things than I had ever looked before.
    I have heared many things about the first year of soberiety–for me it was all about me and my Higher Power’s relationship. Lots of change, lots of growth–and yes growing pains that went along with it. Every path is different, and the experiences each of us have in the first year as different as fingerprints–yet it all comes down to one thing, JUST FOR TODAY, ONE DAY AT A TIME, ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER…what happened for me living the 24 hour program, only 24 hours at a time, made way for me to appreciate life, others and the diversity that surrounds all of us in so many ways.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers… :banana: (I love the dancing banana)


    Post count: 7

    :jail Question…Is soberiety a prison, or a key to freedom? :headbange

    The key to my freedom was getting to know the person inside me who has never has a chance to be because I was not giving myself the chance. I surrendered, gave myself a chance, and discovered I was not the person I thought I was, or the person I once thought I was–now I am free to be me and not care what others think about me. My prison was what I put myself in while drinking and drugging–the key to freedom was to stop fighting, surrender, and the doors of destiney opened wide. The light was bright, and my Higher Power has guided me with faith, understanding and love–with my sponsors, meetings, steps, and finally the relief I did not or have to do this alone.

    Prayers and Blessing to all who read this.


    Post count: 3

    Great stuff! I like when you say I am free to be me and not care of what others think of me – this was (and still is) one of my biggest problems. I always worry about what other people think of me – but the longer I stay sober, the less I worry of what other people think of me – perhaps I am getting a bit of respect for myself, finally!

    Thanks again from Felicia.

    Post count: 2438

    Stick with it Felicia, I’ve been blessed with an amazingly fantastic first year!

    Post count: 99

    hey Felicia – I have been sober for almost nine months now and my pattern was drinking wayyyy too much wine, primarily on weekends. It took outpatient treatment and AA meetings to get me sober.

    One other thing that helped me was to buy a few books on recovery. Just go to Borders or Barnes and Noble and take a look. I learned a lot about the biochemical, genetic and common problems we face during recovery.

    One guy in treatment had been sober for nearly ten years, started drinking that O’douls crap and next thing he knew had a DUI and was back in treatment. I learned a lot from him, that’s for sure!

    Stay away from the triggers – the bars, certain parties, etc, you know what I mean. Working out at the gym helps relieve stress also.

    And check back here often! Take care, Dave

    Post count: 1

    greetings! this is my first time on this website. I am a weekend alcoholic. I desperately want my weekends back. I have doubts that I can handle it though. I went to an AA meeting tonight. I really did not feel like anyone cared. I was sober for 9 years until my 15 year old daughter came home and told me she was pregnant. That was almost 8 years ago. I need some encouragement. Thanks!!!!!!!

    Post count: 74

    I find that remaining vigilant, working the 12 steps, truely working them with my sponsor, freedom is coming easier and I am not worried about who I am. I have been around for 17 years trying to get clean. Along the way, I’ve had 2 1/2, 4 and 7 years at a time. Each time that I went back to misery, I stopped doing meetings, 12 step work, talking with my sponsor and recovering friends.

    This is a simple path, but sometimes its not easy. I do work my butt off to get through each day. At first step work is done to keep from using, after a while step work is for spiritual principles, to better our way of life. I am grateful today and have truely found freedom from active addiction. Through God, the 12 steps, other addicts, meetings, of course Addiction to Rehabilitation, I have found a better way of life.

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