the pain of sobriety - or sobriety sucks | Page 3 of 0 | Addiction to Rehabilitation
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the pain of sobriety – or sobriety sucks2004-06-19T19:18:20-08:00

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 55 total)
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  • Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 13

    Thanks Felica. Looking forward to tonight’s meeting.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 1

    Hi All…
    I’m 44, female, and in recovery for 19 years. I just found this site and really like it.
    I just wanted to share that indeed it did get easier for me with practice. Recovery has become, over time, as strong a habit as using was. For those who are battling fresh on the front lines, my sponsor used to tell me when I had the thoughts/urges to delay it by any means possible. Since procrastination was a skill I had already mastered….lol….I understood that advice. The urges passed if I just put them off long enough. Then I became more interested in life, and in living, and the insanity faded to background noise.
    Good luck….and keep sharing!

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 1

    hey i have 2 years and one month .it gets worse before it gets better but yes the first year was so hard for me. i couldnt stand it when my friends would go out and have fun drinking but be responsible. i was pissed off because i couldnt control myself when i was partying.i still have a problem being around people that talk about it but usually i go to a meeting to let out my frustrations but sometimes i dont feel it go away instantly because over time youll get used to hanging out with yourself cause right now its crusial for you to stay closeto recoverying addicts and alcoholics cause they will help you through it like go hang out with people at a bowling alley or skating with recovering people. its still hard for me to go to clubs just to dance with addicts and im at the two year mark so dont rush things and take things one day at a time love
    abby

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 5

    Im in my 3rd year and im miserable. I have a job, car, sponsor. If I use I will lose my car, my license, all my money. I just keep faking it til I make it because sober hurts right now but drunk and high is probably a death sentence.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 6

    Marcusk87 congratulations on 3 yrs, and welcome to Addiction to Rehabilitation. What hurts?

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 6

    Have you talked with your sponsor? Mine would tell me to find the next right thing.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 11

    I would say bad is the lesser compared to suicide.

    Give us some background, 3 years is an awesome acomplishment, what needs to be fixed? And drinking/using obviously isn’t an option.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 5

    Idk, i just wanna scream and break something. I feel no joy.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 5

    I dont even know if im an alcoholic. I cant manage my life sober either. ITs like bad if im sober but suicide if I drink. No win. Just a lesser of 2 evils.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 5

    Im full of ****. you say “talk to your sponsor” I dont want to. Hes just a sponsor in name, I dont tell him the truth about anything. I hate my life, I still have no happiness in life. Its a perpetual “keep coming” Im tired of being “sober” when im lying about my life. I just never really tell anybody the truth. If I went into a meeting and told the truth it would be anger. Im going to meetings my dad used to go to, he had 10 years and went out the time I came in, hes in mexico right now and his house is apperantly being repossessed (even though he never finished the house). I am 24. I dont give a crap anymore. I fake smile all the time and im so angry. I saw my dad once in the meeting and he shared that he was suicidal at the end of his drinking and i havent seen him at a meeting. I am all alone and sad and miserable and I have a job. But its all bs. And when you respond to this post saying “just talk to somebody” I cant. Ive been speaking and sharing and smiling at meeting and Im full of it completely. Im suicidal. Id rather drink than die so thats what will happen. The truth is impossible for me to share. IDK. Thanks for reading. I dont vibe with all these happy people. Im miserable. Im just so screwed. And I dont know if im a alcoholic. I dont think I am, I think im the child of an alcoholic but I started going to meetings because I was gonna kill myself (jump off a bridge) I understand the part of the first step that says “unmanagability” but not powerless. If my family was ok, if my dad didnt leave my mom for somebody in AA (the meeting I go to) if my mom wasnt a weed smoker, I might not of had so many tragedys in my youth and id be able to handle situations. I go to meetings because if I dont im all alone but im not getting anything out of it and im resentful at people who do. I dont know.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 38

    Every day it gets a little easier. Some days are just bad, but talk to a normie and they have those same bad days.

    Keep coming back!

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 545

    You sound a lot like me Markus. I knew what to do but I wouldn’t do it.
    I wore my anger like a coat.

    The world had stiffed me one too many times and I was going go out in a blaze – they’d all see then – hell yeah.

    Anger resentment and bitterness was easier for me than stopping and facing the things that were stopping me from having a good life and a little peace.

    If you’re serious about all this and you really think there’s no point in anything…then there’s probably nothing anyone here can say to you.

    But I don’t believe it. You posted here for a reason.

    I really didn’t want to die either – I just wasn’t sure my life was worth living or that I was worth saving. And that right there was the crux of the matter for me.

    I really urge you to talk to someone – really talk – no fake smiles, no false I’m OKs…really talk to someone.

    If your sponsor is no good to you – fire him. If there’s noone in AA you respect or trust enough, look for a counsellor.

    Face the stuff thats making you angry – deal with it – live with it – then you’ll know peace.

    I promise.

    D

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 3

    34 months here. The first year was hard because I wasn’t used to not being able to crawl into a bottle to hide from bad feelings. So I felt them, survived, and grew a little stronger.

    Life got better. Then it got worse. Then better again, but different.

    Sobriety is a skill that grows with practice. One day at a time.

    Two reasons I like to go to meetings: one, I like to hear that people’s lives kept improving with sobriety. Two, I like to hear from the recently relapsed and returned that I’m not missing much out there.

    I used to drink more than was good for me. I’m enjoying learning how to treat myself better.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 6

    Sounds like you are getting a little more open honest with that last post. (Nothing bad happened we are still listening BTW.) Have you ever thought about what the second A in AA is all about? For me it is about being able to walk into a meeting and tell the truth without judgement (or at least judgement that follows me home). Not all meetings provide this, and it sounds like you do not feel very anonymous in your meeting. If you are not convinced you are and alcoholic what about ACOA or ALANON?

    I sound like an AA evangelist but I am not. There are lots of ways to deal with you ca-ca. 12 step programs are free, and the is a lot of them, and so far they are working for me, so I go. Addiction to Rehabilitation is a dam fine resource that has helped me. You can talk about your crap here. You can even get angry about it here. There are one or two people around here that came in here more than a little pissed off about life.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 11

    I don’t go to meetings, because I know I would be lying and I wouldn’t be happy at them. I stay sober because I want to. If you are going to meetings just to be with people, and you aren’t sure you are an alcoholic why not look for other friends and activities?

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 55 total)
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