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the pain of sobriety – or sobriety sucks2004-06-19T19:18:20-08:00

Self Help Recovery from Addictions Forums General Discussions on Addiction and Recovery the pain of sobriety – or sobriety sucks

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 55 total)
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  • Anonymous
    Post count: 539

    You sound a lot like me Markus. I knew what to do but I wouldn’t do it.
    I wore my anger like a coat.

    The world had stiffed me one too many times and I was going go out in a blaze – they’d all see then – hell yeah.

    Anger resentment and bitterness was easier for me than stopping and facing the things that were stopping me from having a good life and a little peace.

    If you’re serious about all this and you really think there’s no point in anything…then there’s probably nothing anyone here can say to you.

    But I don’t believe it. You posted here for a reason.

    I really didn’t want to die either – I just wasn’t sure my life was worth living or that I was worth saving. And that right there was the crux of the matter for me.

    I really urge you to talk to someone – really talk – no fake smiles, no false I’m OKs…really talk to someone.

    If your sponsor is no good to you – fire him. If there’s noone in AA you respect or trust enough, look for a counsellor.

    Face the stuff thats making you angry – deal with it – live with it – then you’ll know peace.

    I promise.


    Post count: 10

    I don’t go to meetings, because I know I would be lying and I wouldn’t be happy at them. I stay sober because I want to. If you are going to meetings just to be with people, and you aren’t sure you are an alcoholic why not look for other friends and activities?

    Post count: 6

    Sounds like you are getting a little more open honest with that last post. (Nothing bad happened we are still listening BTW.) Have you ever thought about what the second A in AA is all about? For me it is about being able to walk into a meeting and tell the truth without judgement (or at least judgement that follows me home). Not all meetings provide this, and it sounds like you do not feel very anonymous in your meeting. If you are not convinced you are and alcoholic what about ACOA or ALANON?

    I sound like an AA evangelist but I am not. There are lots of ways to deal with you ca-ca. 12 step programs are free, and the is a lot of them, and so far they are working for me, so I go. Addiction to Rehabilitation is a dam fine resource that has helped me. You can talk about your crap here. You can even get angry about it here. There are one or two people around here that came in here more than a little pissed off about life.

    Post count: 38

    Every day it gets a little easier. Some days are just bad, but talk to a normie and they have those same bad days.

    Keep coming back!

    Post count: 3

    34 months here. The first year was hard because I wasn’t used to not being able to crawl into a bottle to hide from bad feelings. So I felt them, survived, and grew a little stronger.

    Life got better. Then it got worse. Then better again, but different.

    Sobriety is a skill that grows with practice. One day at a time.

    Two reasons I like to go to meetings: one, I like to hear that people’s lives kept improving with sobriety. Two, I like to hear from the recently relapsed and returned that I’m not missing much out there.

    I used to drink more than was good for me. I’m enjoying learning how to treat myself better.

    Post count: 1

    @Felicia 253206 wrote:


    Does anybody know if the craving for alcohol gets better after time? My councellor (20years sober) once said that he would not wish the first year of sobriety on his worst enemy – does this mean it gets better after a year?

    I have just done 3 ½ months and the going is getting tough now.


    I’m told that the first year is the hardest but hang in there. I’ve also heard that living life sober is far more exciting and meaningful than seeing the world through blurry eyes.

    Post count: 26

    Hey Marcus.

    Have You ever considered therapy…it sounds to me like you might benefit from professional help.

    Keep us posted…we care.

    Post count: 1

    Marcus, a good thing for people who are dealing with these type of issues, that I hear quite often in the rooms, is to start and look in a mirror and be honest with yourself. It is okay to be you and not everybody has to like you, we are all different with many different opinions and foundations. Acceptance is a big part of recovery and you are going to have to learn to like yourself. This is where your priorities lie and what makes recovery so important, it must be put way at the top of the list so everything else falls in place. Stop lying to people and stop lying to yourself, before you say something stop and think about it, you do not have to please everybody.

    Post count: 43

    @Marcusk87 2932695 wrote:

    I dont even know if im an alcoholic. I cant manage my life sober either. ITs like bad if im sober but suicide if I drink. No win. Just a lesser of 2 evils.

    Me to. I suffered from alcohol-issues when I drank and alcohol-ISM when I stopped drinking. The further I got away from my last drink the more restless, irritable and discontented I felt.

    Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of taking the 12 steps, I find my life is still unmanageable. However, I feel like I am not suffering as much. I no longer want to use alcohol every time things go wrong. In fact, even if EVERYTHING goes wrong during the day, when my head hits the pillow, I feel a sense of purpose and peace of mind that alcohol only gave me in my early days of drinking.

    Post count: 2

    Hey Marcus,

    Here’s someone else who was going to “show them” by jumping off a bridge….turned out allright in my humble opinion. Take a peek if you have 12.5 minutes to spare….

    YouTube – Ferguson Speaks From The Heart

    Post count: 5

    My advice is the same as others have posted-just hang in there, it’ll get better. After a while, your mind will BE USED to being sober- that’ll be the big breakthrough. It’s just Getting there that’s so freaking tough………………

    Post count: 213

    @Marcusk87 2932695 wrote:

    I dont even know if im an alcoholic. I cant manage my life sober either. ITs like bad if im sober but suicide if I drink. No win. Just a lesser of 2 evils.

    That’s alcoholism as I know it.

    The level of honesty you bring to your sobriety is up to you. The level of willingness you bring to your sobriety is up to you. A good sponsor can help you through all this anger, but nobody can help you if you’re not honest and willing. There is a win — it’s in the honesty and the willingness. It’s not without pain and it doesn’t happen overnight — and doesn’t happen at all unless you make the decision.

    If you feel you can’t talk with your sponsor, or if your sponsor isn’t willing to take you through the steps, find another one. Please.

    Peace & Love,

    Post count: 3

    Hi Marcusk – welcome and I hope whatever hurts will get better soon! Three years is a long and great time!

    Post count: 1

    @LnFRWngHrs_30 254201 wrote:

    :jail Question…Is soberiety a prison, or a key to freedom? :headbange

    The key to my freedom was getting to know the person inside me who has never has a chance to be because I was not giving myself the chance. I surrendered, gave myself a chance, and discovered I was not the person I thought I was, or the person I once thought I was–now I am free to be me and not care what others think about me. My prison was what I put myself in while drinking and drugging–the key to freedom was to stop fighting, surrender, and the doors of destiney opened wide. The light was bright, and my Higher Power has guided me with faith, understanding and love–with my sponsors, meetings, steps, and finally the relief I did not or have to do this alone.

    Prayers and Blessing to all who read this.


    Wow. REALLY inspirational. Thank you for this post. I really appreciate the first line and it makes me rethink my position on sobriety altogether.

    Post count: 4

    @Marcusk87 2932695 wrote:

    I dont even know if im an alcoholic. I cant manage my life sober either. ITs like bad if im sober but suicide if I drink. No win. Just a lesser of 2 evils.

    The unmanageability that they talk of in the 1st step is actually not about DUIs, broken relationships and falling down the stairs. It’s about the internal unmanageability. Restlessness, irritability and discontentedness– when we’re sober. You see, I used alcohol to treat my alcoholism. It solved my distress, made me feel better. So it follows that we are miserable and unmanageable when we’re sober.

    That’s why we can’t just “not drink.” We need to heal and recover.

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