AnonymousMay 2, 2017 at 2:50 amPost count: 4
Sobriety is an emotional rollercoaster. I think the people who talk about being pissed off and confused are the people who are being honest about where they are at.
I have gone to meetings that I call fluff meetings where lots of people with less than 3 months have all the answers, they feel great and life is just like walking down the happy lane.
At 3 years or 30 years everybody hits a patch where emotional sobriety gets a bit sticky. Just hang in there I don’t have much time I’ll be 7 next month and trust me I still have days where I am homicidal but its a step up from suicidal.
Venting is awesome I urge you to keep doing it and praying never hurt anyone that I know of?:grouphug:AnonymousJune 1, 2017 at 11:42 pmPost count: 5
Oh my god getting sober was a nightmare. I cried every day for four or five months, followed by just feeling crazy all the time. I wasn’t restored to sanity, I was introduced to sanity, lol.
But I promise you it gets better. That’s true for all of us. What helped me the most was talking about how I felt and keeping the focus on today. I only have to not pick up a drink TODAY.AnonymousJune 1, 2017 at 11:45 pmPost count: 5
I forgot to say early sobriety was so awful it keeps me going to meetings 19+ years later. I don’t believe I’d ever be able to go through it again, so I don’t take risks.
I described it as PMS in a full moon.AnonymousJune 10, 2017 at 11:08 pmPost count: 5
<-Still alive!AnonymousJune 10, 2017 at 11:26 pmPost count: 539
good to hear marcus – what else is happening? 🙂
DAnonymousJune 11, 2017 at 10:29 amPost count: 2
Marcus, I can’t diagnose obviously but it sounds to me a lot like clinical depression. Have you had a professional assessment for that? Or do you have a history? You may have been self medicating it previously.
AA doesn’t always seem to be enough for some people. If you’re wondering why you’re the one who doesn’t ‘get it’, I can see how that could make you feel worse.AnonymousJune 11, 2017 at 9:05 pmPost count: 5
The first six months were horrific for me and not because of a craving (mine was lifted). I think I cried every day, just sat in the rooms of AA and bawled. I described it as 24/7 PMS in a full moon. I was so very, very depressed.
Yes, it gets better I promise you. Just keep coming.AnonymousJune 11, 2017 at 10:23 pmPost count: 38
I remember those first few months, I kept going back to meetings because there were people in there who seemed to be happy and I wanted that.
Clinical depression is treatable. I hope you will talk to someone.AnonymousJune 11, 2017 at 11:36 pmPost count: 22
The first year was great, finished the work in AA in the first 3 months, was seeing a CBT counselor every week…discovering new stuff almost everyday, on a real pink cloud…funny though cos i remember thinking make the most of this time because it is all new from the first couple of weeks:-)
I can relate though because i did a year once just by abstaining from alcohol and that sucked bigtime…really horrible…AnonymousJune 16, 2017 at 4:50 amPost count: 5
@Marcusk87 2933010 wrote:
Im full of ****. you say “talk to your sponsor” I dont want to. Hes just a sponsor in name, I dont tell him the truth about anything. I hate my life, I still have no happiness in life. Its a perpetual “keep coming” Im tired of being “sober” when im lying about my life. I just never really tell anybody the truth. If I went into a meeting and told the truth it would be anger. Im going to meetings my dad used to go to, he had 10 years and went out the time I came in, hes in mexico right now and his house is apperantly being repossessed (even though he never finished the house). I am 24. I dont give a crap anymore. I fake smile all the time and im so angry. I saw my dad once in the meeting and he shared that he was suicidal at the end of his drinking and i havent seen him at a meeting. I am all alone and sad and miserable and I have a job. But its all bs. And when you respond to this post saying “just talk to somebody” I cant. Ive been speaking and sharing and smiling at meeting and Im full of it completely. Im suicidal. Id rather drink than die so thats what will happen. The truth is impossible for me to share. IDK. Thanks for reading. I dont vibe with all these happy people. Im miserable. Im just so screwed. And I dont know if im a alcoholic. I dont think I am, I think im the child of an alcoholic but I started going to meetings because I was gonna kill myself (jump off a bridge) I understand the part of the first step that says “unmanagability” but not powerless. If my family was ok, if my dad didnt leave my mom for somebody in AA (the meeting I go to) if my mom wasnt a weed smoker, I might not of had so many tragedys in my youth and id be able to handle situations. I go to meetings because if I dont im all alone but im not getting anything out of it and im resentful at people who do. I dont know.
I can completely relate to the way you feel … during the 20 years I’ve been sober there have been periods like this. Just miserable, hating myself and everyone else, wishing I was dead.
For me this happens when I don’t get to enough meetings; so I increase meetings and feel a lot better. After all this time I have a hard time not isolating; I isolated long before I picked up a drink, it’s part of who I am. So it’s easy to cut back. Then I wonder why I’m so pissed off at everyone and DUH??
You can talk to one person about how you feel, surely. Talking works wonders….
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