Over 6 months sober and I feel on top of the world. How good I feel cannot be explained to anyone who hasn’t suffered the breakdowns of being a drinker.
For the first time in years I face 24 hours as if I was given the power to determine my own fate. Of course, there is some truth to that.
My wife has been incredible in this struggle towards sobriety. However, the one thing we tend to conflict on is ‘what am I doing to continue and grow’.
AA has its place and I go to a meeting a week after doing the 90 meetings in 90 days. However, I just don’t feel a connection with anyone. I chose a temp sponsor and it was a disaster. So, after getting through step 4, I’m very hesitant to even get another because I feel that it does more damage than good to have someone fail at being my sponsor.
God has blessed me so much and while I do like how everyone has their own definition of a higher being, I find a lot of comfort, guidance, and peace in my personal study of the Bible and self-reflection. This is a very passive and fulfilling path for me, but it doesn’t have the demonstrative effect as an active sponsor calling 24/7. So, my wife wonders if I’ve swayed away from ‘the path’.
Does anyone have thoughts regarding this or feel similar to how I think I’m experiencing sobriety?