I’d like other depressed people’s thoughts on this one.
Here’s what it means to me:
Getting sober made life much worse. The suicidal thoughts were overwhelming. I finally admitted to myself that I was having serious problems and reached out for help. I told my doctor and he set me up with a therapist. I had relapsed by the time I saw her–she refused to recommend to my doc to put me on meds until I got sober. In less than a week I got sober–went back to see her and got put on meds. I’ve been sober since…although I do admit I did stop taking my meds this past September–wow, that was stupid–but I’m back on them now.
I had problems before I ever picked up booze. I had sought help for about a year before I drank. Nothing helped at that time–the therapy process was unfamiliar to me and I couldn’t be honest with myself because I was scared.
Several years and tons of booze later I came to a crossroads of sorts. Either drink or kill myself. That’s when it hit me that something was very wrong. I got help and I’m glad that I did.
Recovery for me isn’t feeling like life is bunnies, kittens and flowers. I’ll be the first to admit I miss drinking…well, the good effects, not the negatives. I don’t feel a peace inside that others seem to feel. Recovery for me is making sure I take care of my depression. When my depression is in check it is much easier for me to stay sober. Living with depression means a life of managing. The ‘recovery’ is doing the work necessary to be and feel the best that I possibly can.
This is why I hope depressed sober people don’t get discouraged. It’s okay to feel like crap–just don’t let feeling like crap dominate your life. Talk to your therapist and your doctor. Keep adjusting and changing. Don’t settle for the abyss.